Exploring Life, Love, Light (and Darkness) with Michael Insana 

By Jakob McQuade

Aging is one of few universal human experiences. One morning, you will wake up, look in the mirror, and find your very first grey hair. You will probably be in your early 20’s, and the grey strand might send you into a spiral of self-reflection; it may even be the catalyst for your quarter-life crisis.

“One Grey Hair” is also the title of Michael Insana’s debut album. Across the record’s 30 minutes, Insana spans several genres and delves into far-reaching themes – and he’s not afraid to be provocative.

Insana uses 10 tracks to extrapolate his own introspection outwards. On the album, he weaves a narrative that tackles the perils and triumphs of discovering one’s manhood in the modern era, finding love in a time of internet-bred neuroticism, and ultimately, the yin and yang of dark versus light.

Congratulations on the release of the album! This is the first project you’ve released under the pseudonym “Michael Insana,” correct?

Yes. And, it’s pronounced “In-SAW-nuh.” I think the actual correct pronunciation is “In-SAN-uh,” but I like my pronunciation better.

You grew up in a city in Southern California, but you’re now living in semi-rural Ohio. How has that journey inspired you?

Well, I completed all of the writing and the production before I moved. So, the Ohio part of me isn’t really in this album. But it's in me. I am definitely more of a country boy, and I think I always have been, but now I can really feel it.

I think you can hear the SoCal inspiration in there. I find it to be kind of harebrained and neurotic, you know. There's so much going on there. At least for me, it's almost overwhelming... I was going a little bit nuts.

The album opens with a beautiful instrumental called “Eden.” Is that inspired by a real place, or is that more of a fantasy you’ve created through the song?

Going back to your first question – the field recording on that song was actually recorded at a lake house that my family has here in Ohio. It must have been seven or eight years ago... I guess there is some Ohio in the record.

I built the track around the feelings that the recording engendered in me. I got on my keyboard and I wrote the melody. The track is also inspired by the Bible, to some degree. It's supposed to be the calm before the storm. It represents the womb and childhood, when everything's being taken care of and you don’t have a care in the world. But then it starts to get a little hairy after you leave.

It definitely gets a little hairy as you jump straight into the blues on the next track.

The whole thing is a loose narrative, right? After leaving Eden, "Soyboy Blues" is the beginning of an adolescent period, where I discover that things can sometimes be not so nice. I become a little bit angry on “Soyboy Blues.” I make some nice “Friends.” On “Portrait of an Autist as a Young Man,” I become really narcissistic, kind of an asshole, and a bit profane.

What comes next on this journey?

There's a painting called “Expulsion from the Garden of Eden” by Thomas Cole. It's very religious. Half of the painting is this beautiful, Eden-esque landscape. It’s green and sunny and there are trees bearing fruit. The other half is dark and barren. In the middle, there's a big cavern. You can see Adam and Eve are leaving behind the light radiating from the cave and trudging into the hellscape. I look at that, and I think, “Oh, it's a womb”... and there's hell on the other side. That’s "Banishment." I do some weird stuff, and I’m cast out into hell.

Next is "Chad," where I'm trying to pick up the pieces and become what I consider a “man” at that point in my life – and in the narrative. Then, I fall in love and experience that. By the time the album ends, I’ve kind of figured it all out. Not that I have it all figured out in real life!

You’re referring to the album’s protagonist in first person. Is this a character that you’re portraying, or is it a reflection of yourself?

It's a little bit of both. The lyrics are serious, but it's definitely an exaggeration. Art should be exaggerated, right? It isn't exactly intended to reflect reality – at least nowadays, after modernism. It's hard to discern quite what it’s depicting. It's an exaggeration in the sense that it’s not exactly me doing all these things, but it's certainly inspired by true events.

Whose voice comes through more on the album – ”Michael Insana” or the real you?

It's definitely me on all the songs, but it’s a caricatured version. I'm older now than when I made the album – I first wrote “Knight of Faith” seven years ago. I'm a different person than I was back then. The whole thing is pretty reflective of the development of my psyche at the time.

You specifically use some provocative verbiage like “Soyboy,” “Autist” and “Chad.” What inspired you to grapple with these difficult concepts on your album?

Those titles, and to some degree, the whole album, were inspired by internet culture. I’m not sure that is much less real than the outside world – the line is getting blurrier every day. The terms are a little bit offensive, so I hope nobody gets offended by that, but I guess we’ll see.

But you’re not afraid to be provocative. There are some other provocative moments on the album as well.

There’s one spicy lyric on “Portrait”... I’m not really a user of that word. It’s an attention grabber, but I wasn’t even sure if I should put it on there at first. I went back and forth on it for a while, but it’s art, right? It’s supposed to be provocative. And, I guess I have the “N-word pass.”

How else does your experience with race manifest on “One Grey Hair”?

My race – half Black, half Italian – has a lot to do with who I am. I've only met one other person who has the same genetic makeup as me, so I feel a bit racially unique. That had to have had some influence on what I made, but I have no idea how. My race is a part of me, and the album is a part of me, so the two must be connected somehow.

Who are some of the biggest musical influences on the album?

If I had to choose one genre to describe the album, it would be art rock. So, David Bowie, Brian Eno, John Cale and Velvet Underground were big inspirations. The Beatles, too, but I can’t draw a direct line. I think Bob Dylan is the best songwriter. I like his literary approach to lyricism, which I tried to emulate. From Mac Demarco, to Tom Waits, to Pink Floyd... Each song kind of has a different influence.

That definitely comes through on the album, as you tackle such a wide span of sounds across its runtime. One of the biggest jumps goes from brooding spoken word on “Chad” to a lighthearted bossa nova on “Between Us.” What was your intention in setting up this juxtaposition?

I thought it was kind of funny... There's this freaky, dark track where I'm a total weirdo, a mechanical monster of a man. After I hit 21, I got serious about my life. I was a man on a mission. Part of that was figuring out women, which I've had some trouble with in the past. All of the sudden, it was like, “Oh, I'm in love.”

There is a recurring female character on the album. Is there a real-world inspiration for this feminine presence, or is it more of a metaphor?

A little bit of both. With girls, there were many times where I went between feeling like “This girl is so great,” to being in the pits. I think it’s a pretty common thing for young men... women aren’t easy to figure out, at least for people like me.

I’m married now, so the nicer songs were inspired by my wife. She really mellowed me out, psychologically. Thanks to her for supporting me in doing all this. There's some weird stuff on the album that doesn't seem to faze her too much, so that's good.

On the album, you entertain some religious themes, even though you’re not necessarily religious yourself. How did your beliefs affect your writing?

I wasn't raised with religion, really. My mom is a little bit religious, but not especially. My dad’s not really at all. So, when I became a young adult, I kind of discovered it on my own. During writing and producing the album, I had what I call my “religious phase.” I thought, "So many people are into this. What am I missing?" I delved in and learned the ways it might benefit me... and the ways it might hurt me.

Looking back at the record, it encapsulates that whole process pretty well. I had some religious faith, but I’m not as much into it anymore – although I still have great respect for the religions. I still haven’t quite figured it out.

Although the album concludes with an uplifting tune, “Knight of Faith,” you leave the listener with a twice-repeated, ambivalent lyric:

And the rays of light are pouring in through the glass /
And I can see all the dust in the air / But it only makes for a prettier scene /
And I’m left wondering why I should care / And I’m left wondering why I should care

What’s that about?

I was sitting in my living room, and rays of sunlight were shining through the window. I could see them reflecting off the dust in the air. Even though no one likes dust, it created this beautiful scene with kind of a sparkly effect over everything. That’s how I view life: if there were no imperfections – if everything was perfect all the time – I think that would make life devoid of meaning. Rather, the imperfections are what give life meaning. The whole thing reminded me of whatever girl I was into at the time. She wasn’t perfect, but I don’t want perfect... I want real.

I’m an optimistic guy at heart. Despite all of the darkness that I acknowledge, I don't think the world's a horrible place. It’s quite a nice place in a lot of ways. Actually, I think that our lives right now are good compared to a lot of times in world history. So yeah, not bad overall, I would say.

You can’t have light without darkness – they’re two sides of the same coin. Would you say the album parallels that view – on religion, on philosophy, and on life?

The duality between light and dark is a very philosophical idea. I'm not sure exactly where I got that idea for the album specifically, but I have great admiration for Nietzsche. His ideas definitely influenced me – he can be angry, but he’s also passionate and sensitive. He talks about religion – and the death of religion – a lot. Like, "God is dead, we have killed him, and now we have to do something about it, because it's going to wreak havoc on the world." I think he was right, in a certain way.

That’s the number one message that I have – and I’m not a preachy guy. But, if the album is about one thing, it’s that duality between darkness and light.